Everybody has a name… But what does one do when they don’t like theirs or they feel like it misrepresents them?
Senior Oliver Zhu has lots of experience with different names: “My birth name, Weibing, is now my legal name. Then, I had an English middle name that became my first name. And then my mom named me after a famous person, so that was my third name.”
Zhu has used Oliver colloquially since the start of 10th grade, when he made a change in his gender identity. He changed his legal name to Weibing just a few weeks ago.
“I’ve actually had my name changed so many times as a kid because my parents found better names. I remember then we’d be at court or something, but this [recent legal name change] was real, real simple,” Zhu said.
While the recent legal name change was easy, Zhu found the colloquial switch hard: “A lot of times if I get misgendered or dead-named, I’d be thinking, ‘I know this person,’ ‘we have a good relationship,’ ‘this isn’t malicious intent,’ ‘this is just a force of habit,’ et cetera. But, it still hurts on the inside because it feels like they don’t recognize me as the person I want to be.”
For such a crucial part of one’s personality, Zhu believes that the most important thinking to be done when considering a name change should be internally focused: “Does this make me feel good?” and “Do I feel like my character has changed?” were some key questions in Zhu’s decision-making process.
Zhu acknowledges that societal and familial pressures can be challenging to deal with.
“There are always going to be people who are uncomfortable; you can’t do anything about that. It doesn’t need to be part of the equation. Removing a big hindrance in my life is worth the trouble to people who knew my name before,” he said.
For Zhu, one of the complexities of changing his name was trying to get people to make the switch across all areas of his life. For example, some of his friends have only ever known him as Oliver, whereas those who’ve known him for longer had to make a switch. Of those who had to make the switch it was especially difficult for his parents: “If they call my name five times a day for 15 years, that’s going to be different than if somebody talks to me once a day for two years. Habit is just a different thing to deal with,” Zhu said.
Funnily enough, another problematic part of Zhu’s name change was the abundance of other Olivers inside and outside the SPA community. Zhu chose the name Oliver because his mom used to go by Ollie. However, he didn’t fully realize the extent of the name’s commonality until the first day of 10th grade: “I’m in advisory and [we’re] giving introductions,” Zhu said, “and the guy right before me says, ‘My name is Oliver.’ And I think, oh no, he’s gonna think I stole his name.” Zhu added that “for transgender people, having a common name can help them pass. But, [for me], it can also feel like I’m stealing names.”
In general, though, Zhu feels more comfortable going by Oliver. When it comes to the process of changing one’s name, Zhu said, “Live life the way you want to. If you’re planning on changing your name in the first place, that means there’s definitely some parts that you’re not happy with.”
