Imagine coming to school everyday, walking through the Huss doors, and getting called a mean nickname or having one’s name mispronounced on purpose. This happens all the time and it needs to stop.

Names are a deeply personal piece of identity. They are often rooted in cultural heritage, family history or personal choice. Everybody has a different story behind their name.

In a diverse school home to people from a wide range of backgrounds, there is a huge variety of names coming from many different languages and cultures among students and faculty. Naturally, this will result in some mispronunciations here and there. However, some students have crossed the line and gone far beyond good-intentioned mispronunciations. Frequently, students purposely mispronounce other’s names. This has been a common theme, and many recipients of this behavior experience a similar path down the slippery slope of accepting disrespectful and unwanted mispronunciations.

Although everyone’s experience can be different, here’s how it often goes: it starts as a joke, something that even the target may be in on. But then, it becomes a frequent occurrence and tensions escalate. Even if they decide to stand up for themselves and ask to be called by their correct name, nobody listens and they get stuck with a few of their friends, or sometimes more, purposely mispronouncing their name as a joke.

Another common malpractice is name-calling. Yes, even high school students resort to name-calling and mean nicknames. Although it’s perhaps not as prevalent of an issue as it is with younger kids, the nicknames in high school can be crueler and more demeaning. In the worst cases, these nicknames are attacks on a person’s identity that usually criticize a certain characteristic, often an unchangeable one, or reference an action or mistake they may have made.

Sometimes, people don’t have bad intentions. They simply don’t realize the impact of their actions. They don’t understand how absolutely essential it is to respect each other’s names. Maybe they wouldn’t take offense to a mean nickname, but that doesn’t mean that others share that view. To many people, their names are an extremely valuable part of their identity.

But let’s be clear: unwanted nicknames are unacceptable in every case. Repeatedly calling someone an unwanted nickname is both bullying and harassment, and it can have dire effects on the victim. There has been an increase in this behavior, and it is sad and extremely off-putting to new members of the community.

Persistent mocking, mispronunciation or name-calling sends a damaging message: “Your identity does not matter.” This practice is more than just disrespectful. It leads to isolation and anxiety, particularly in a high school setting where peer connections are invaluable. It is embarrassing and can stain self-images.

It takes everyone to address this problem. To cultivate a culture of respect around names, students must commit to stepping up to call out name-calling, mocking, mean nicknames, and intentional mispronunciation. If being targeted, it is also critical to express quickly and directly when a name is unwelcome. Moreover, commit to learning how to pronounce each other’s names correctly. Taking the time to ask “How do you say your name?” is a small but significant gesture that fosters belonging and builds respect and community.

Names are powerful: they shape self-perception and make up a core part of a person’s identity. When names aren’t respected, identity is attacked, feelings are hurt, and trust is broken. As SPA continues to strive for a more inclusive environment –choosing community, kindness, and belonging as three of its five new school values– a collective effort to respect names is imperative. Doing so affirms a commitment to valuing everyone.