Mariam Malik

NOT JUST FOR POPULARITY POINTS. Teenagers should explore relationships, but also understand what it comes with what a healthy one looks like.

From elaborately planned promposals to third-wheeling friends at lunch, teen relationships are an unavoidable part of the high school experience. The four years teenagers spend in high school are arguably the most intense period of self-discovery. In other words, every teenager pulls themself out of at least one identity crisis in high school. Picking apart every aspect of oneself invites a host of cultural expectations about who one should be and who one should be with. At this point, dating someone in high school is not for emotional connection; it is a social currency, a mark of status, or even worse- an obligation.

While difficult to admit, social media has ruined everything good about high school romance. Instagram and TikTok have turned romance into a commodity – coupling up is less about mutual love and more about gaining clout. “Couple goals” are not aspirational- they are expected. Teenagers, arguably the most active population on social media, start seeing relationships as benchmarks for “fitting in” rather than the life milestones they actually are. Because of social media, it is not just about who one likes but how one appears to like them. After all, nothing says “I love you” more than doing the latest TikTok dance with your partner.

However, the online world is not solely at fault: there is a wealth of pressure from peers. Teens are keenly aware of the “who is dating who” gossip. They often find themselves spreading the information if they are not in said relationship, or worse, never been in one. There is an unspoken fear of being branded as a “loner” or “weird.” Whether serious or not, these labels stick, and teens who have not found “their special someone” feel like they are failing an invisible social test.

Even parents, while generally meaning well, contribute to the pressure. Incessant inquiries about their teens’ love life at the dinner table become a daily conversation. The routine question implies that the teenage experience is only complete once you date someone. The insinuation is clear: there is something inherently missing if you are not in a relationship, as though the quest for self-actualization is incomplete without a significant other.

Dating in high school is not bad. Being in a relationship teaches valuable lessons about communication, boundaries, and emotional intimacy on a level that casual friendships cannot replicate. But teens often rush into relationships without fully understanding what it takes to make one healthy. When those relationships inevitably fizzle out, it leaves them heartbroken and ill-prepared for serious romantic commitments in the future.

The problem is less about teenagers’ desire for relationships but more about the societal pressures shaping that desire. There is a fine line between fostering healthy connections and creating a culture where being single feels like a failure.

Teenagers should absolutely be encouraged to explore relationships. However, they should also be empowered to walk away from one when something does not feel right. Dating someone should not be out of self-imposed obligation but rather choice and exploration. The question should not be “Why are you not dating?” but “Are you ready to date?” and “Do you know what you want from a relationship?” That is the pressure teens should feel- one that encourages self-awareness and growth.

Stop making teen dating a race or performance. Relationships are a journey of self-discovery, not a trend to follow. The sooner the idea that everyone needs to date to fit in, the better-prepared teenagers will be for the relationships that truly matter.