Thomas Chen: Everyone has a first memory. For some, it’s playing with friends at preschool, while others remember eating cake on their third birthday. In this podcast, I talk with upper school counselor Clare Roney and junior Leah Passe about their first memories and how they have shaped them as people. Enjoy.

Clare Roney: I am Clare Roney, one of the upper school counselors at SPA, and I use she/her pronouns.

Chen: Okay, so first thing, what is your first childhood memory ever?

Roney: I am not sure if this is my first childhood memory, but this is one that comes up. I went to preschool at a place called House of Hope in Saint Paul and Summit. I’m not sure if that preschool program is still in existence, but I remember that each room had a name, and the name of the room was also featured on the door of the room. So there was the Peter Rabbit room, the Humpty Dumpty room, the teddy bear room. And you would, as you progress through preschool, ages three and four, you would move to a different room. And I remember feeling really excited to move from the teddy bear room to the Humpty Dumpty room to the Peter Rabbit room. And I remember the images on the door. I remember the feeling of excitement. And then I remember one of my dear friends. His name was Ryan, and he had glasses, and I loved playing with Ryan, and I remember going to his house after preschool one day.

Chen: So why do you think those were your first memories? Do you think it was just because it was a first remember, or do you think there’s a special meaning behind it?

Roney: I think I remember it because I think I liked it. I think I felt safe and comfortable and I enjoyed my teachers. I enjoyed my classmates, and I enjoyed learning.

Chen: How do you think this memory has shaped you from the very beginning, as a person?

Chen: Well, I think that I have always enjoyed school, some of my children make fun of me because I was always a kiddo who loved school. School did not always come super easy to me, so I definitely worked hard in school, but I loved the beginning of the school year. I loved picking out school supplies. I loved picking out my backpack and my school shoes. I loved the social experience of school, and I knew how to do school, even though topics and subjects didn’t always come really easy. I’ve always enjoyed school from preschool through grad school. What’s interesting is, even with that love of school and kind of that social experiment or experience. I didn’t always know that I wanted to be an educator, and so it’s interesting, I didn’t discover that till after college. Even though I’ve always had this really positive affiliation to school, I never dreamed that I would have a future career in schools, but I think that’s probably why that memory stands out, is because it was really positive. It was the beginning of my education experience and I continued to kind of lean in and enjoy my education, throughout my K through graduate school experience.

Chen: Do you think it’s important for everybody to remember and cherish and reflect on these Early memories? Do you think they say a lot about us as people, or do you think they’re just random?

Roney: That’s a good question. I don’t know how certain memories stand out more so than others. My guess would be that there’s some kind of an emotional connection to the experience, and so I wonder if that’s how certain memories at certain times in our life maybe stand out better than others, is that there was some kind of an emotional, physical and spiritual experiences that maybe moved us and kind of planted an imprint in our memory.

Chen: Do you think that our first memories shape who we are, or do you think that who we shape our first memories?

Roney: That’s another really good question. I think it maybe depends, I think about humans who have had, maybe early, traumatic childhood experiences, and how that shapes or does not shape who people are and how people navigate really early on experiences that maybe don’t feel so positive. Do I think it can impact our lifelong journey and experience? Yes, do I think it has to define our lifelong human experience, no, but I think kind of whether it’s positive or negative, I think it is about identifying what is that, why it stands out, and how it impacts our life, and if we don’t like the impact, how do we lean in for support to shift that experience? So I think it can. It can show up in lots of different ways. Sometimes I don’t think we always know that it’s showing up or impacting our thoughts, behaviors or actions, like my example of a positive early childhood experience of school, I would not have guessed that maybe that early experience at the age of three impacted my life and my career choice. And I’m not sure that I’ve ever thought about my career impacted by that early preschool experience. I would point more toward my after-college experience that helped me get to this career choice, but I do think it has added value. But I also want to honor some of those early childhood memories that aren’t positive, and think about how that might influence and impact, but also, how many young people are so resilient and can move past some of those early childhood memories that maybe aren’t so positive.

Chen: Now I chat with junior Leah Passe.

Leah Passe: My name is Leah Passy. I’m in 11th grade, and my pronouns are she/her.

Chen: What is the first thing you remember about being alive?

Passe: I remember dropping my sister off at school with my dad.

Chen: How old was she?

Passe: She was like, six.

Chen: And how old were you?

Passe: Three.

Chen: So, this was he going to kindergarten?

Passe: Yeah

Chen: What were your feelings about this? Were they happy memories? How were you feeling in that moment?

Passe: I don’t really remember. I think I remember feeling excited to start actually learning in school and not just in preschool anymore. And I don’t think it has a very like, necessarily positive or negative connotation to it. I think I just remember it happening, and I remember being excited.

Chen: How did this early memory reflect your relationship with your sister?

Passe: I mean, I think that it was a little bit hard for me to start having my sister go to school for a full day because at the school I went to, I had preschool for half a day, and then once you got into kindergarten and above, then you had a full day school. So I think that I probably wasn’t thinking about it much when I was little, but, like, it kind of reflected that, like, I would miss the time I got to spend with her, and that, like, as people age, they they don’t always remember to spend time with their loved ones or the people they care about, and so really have to cherish those memories.

Chen: Do you think you guys spend more time with each other now? Or do you think that sort of disconnect kept going on for a little bit?

Passe: I think we still spend a good amount of time with each other now. My sister’s in college, so there’s still that disconnect.

Chen: Even 14 years later, school has always been separate you guys?

Passe: Yeah, a little bit, but I do remember being especially excited for high school because we had a year of high school together. For the rest of the years, it’s been mostly separated, but it’s been nice to kind of be able to appreciate the time more at home when we were together. I think the separation at school made that more important.

Chen: Do you think your sister has always been an inspiration to you? Have you always wanted to be like her?

Passe: Yeah, for sure, I think that even from other memories at that age, when I was little and she was five or six, I always wanted to do the things she was doing. I always wanted to be a little bit older and have the opportunities that she had, and just kind of follow in her footsteps. And I still see that today, like I’d love to follow her to college, and I always want to be like her. I think a lot of her main personality traits and the way she lives her life have really made an impact on me in the way I live my life.

Chen: That’s all for this episode. What is your first memory, and how do you think it shaped you? Thanks for listening. Tune into more podcasts in the Multimedia section of RubicOnline.

(Music: “No Copyright Music Chill” by DELOSound on pixabay.com)