Sleepy infants snuggle in pink or blue blankets. A thin, firm line splits the clothing section in Target; an avenue of pink ruffles parked alongside one with graphic t-shirts sporting ripped superheroes on the other. The bathrooms send a clear message, stick figures and labels guarding the door; there is no third option, no place for those who identify as neither exclusively male nor exclusively female.

Although school often provides little respite from the problems strict gender distinctions supply, this fall, three single-use gender neutral bathrooms have been provided for students at St. Paul Academy and Summit School that identify as non-binary or otherwise.

“In May of last year, Lauren [the Vice President of GSA] and I went to a faculty meeting and talked to the faculty about getting the single use adult bathrooms for non-binary students,” junior Isabelle Bukovsan, President of the Gay Straight Alliance Club said.

“There wasn’t that much resistance, [but] some people were confused about why people needed them in particular.”

Freshman Benjamin Atmore has also seen a lack of awareness in the community.

“I don’t know if there’s much knowledge about them in the 9th grade…I’m noticing that there’s a lot less gossiping [about which gender] people identify as. People are using the appropriate pronouns for other people – even I, within a week, have learned them,” Atmore said.

Sophomore Lauren Datta, the Vice President of GSA, also hasn’t seen a negative response.

“There was not a lot of backlash; [it was mostly] logistics,” she said. “The bathrooms will make a difference for non-binary people. It’s a good way for them to find acceptance with themselves about their gender…[I’ve seen] friends going through it;it can be incredibly stressful for them,” Datta said.

Although many are familiar with LGBTQ+ terms, (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, and other identities), knowledge about non-binary individuals is limited in the SPA community. Someone with a non-binary identity identifies as neither completely male nor completely female. Therefore, to be made to choose a gender every time they enter the bathroom causes anxiety.

“I know for me, [going to the bathroom has] been a lot better because [gender neutral bathrooms] decrease the stress a whole lot. It makes it feel like the community is more aware of my existence…[my gender identity] feels more like a real thing, rather than just something that I have inside of me,” Bukovsan said.

Identifying as non-binary themself, Bukovsan uses the gender neutral bathrooms.

“[The bathrooms] allow the stress and angst to be taken down a little because [non-binary people] are not forcing a gender onto themselves,” Bukovsan said.

Last year, some measures were taken to ensure that students who identified as non-binary could use the adult single-use bathrooms, even if they weren’t specifically gender neutral.

“I was advocating for it with the rest of GSA,” sophomore Alex Duval said.“It kind of starts to break down that instant boy-girl type thing…[the bathrooms] start that conversation,” Duval said.

However, they doesn’t believe they will make much of a difference for people outside of the LGBTQ+ community: “I haven’t seen many people give it much thought except us four [non-binary students], who are really relieved,” Duval said.

Bukovsan believes that having gender neutral bathrooms is an essential step to making the school community a more welcoming place for all.

“There should be something that’s there even if there are no [non-binary students] because there could be someone coming later, someone who’s visiting. [Having gender neutral bathrooms] also presents a more open and progressive community,” Bukovsan said.

Datta agrees: “It’s something very simple to do…it gets people used to diversity. We need to plan for students who are coming to this school,” she said.

Atmore echoes this sentiment. “Even the last few years, coming out and identifying as non-binary has become a lot more common…I feel that for future generations that will definitely make a difference,” he said.

Reactions from students have left something to be desired, but have been mostly positive.

“I think a lot of people will think it’s weird or it doesn’t affect them [in the future]…[but the response] seems to be really good so far,” Datta said.

Bukovsan has seen a similar response. “A lot of people are like ‘there are more bathrooms closer to me!’” they said.

“It’s not being taken as something very strange and weird, but I think there’s a lack of awareness about why it’s happening.”

Although the installation of gender neutral bathrooms is a positive change for the community, this solution remains far from perfect.

It can still be inconvenient and uncomfortable for non-binary students to use the gender neutral bathrooms since they tend to be significantly farther away than the gendered Upper School bathrooms.

“In some situations I use the gendered ones to avoid those conversations,” Duval said “You don’t want to explain why [it takes so long], but there are also some people who would rather take a long walk than go to the more convenient one,” they said.

Naturally, this problem varies from person to person; for some, it’s not uncomfortable at all to make the long trip.
Regardless of the difficulties the bathrooms present, Duval is immensely happy to have them.

“It’s really invalidating to not have something for you there…[so] just having the option is better than not having it at all,” Duval said.

However, both Bukovsan and Datta’s opinion is that “just having the one is great progress, but obviously the goal is to completely remove the genders from the bathrooms.”

Bukovsan is optimistic about the changes in the community the gender neutral bathrooms could initiate: “It was a fair amount of work for GSA so I’m glad people are noticing…willingness to learn is the most important thing, because if people aren’t willing to learn nothing’s going to change.”