Big siblings serve as classmates & offer advice

by Meghan Joyce

Sibling dynamics are undeniably complex. Only siblings can know each other well enough to be both the bane of their siblings’ existence and their best friend.

“I get along with them. My siblings don’t [get along with each other]. But I’m like the best, so…” junior Charlie Hooley said. Hooley is the oldest of four siblings, all of whom attend St. Paul Academy and Summit School. As “the best [sibling],” Hooley has tried to pass down essential lessons, usually basic tips for getting through life or navigating high school. Apparently, his siblings fail to recognize the wisdom of his vast, worldly knowledge. “I do [give them advice] sometimes, but they won’t listen,” he said.

Junior Justin Jallen is the oldest of his siblings at SPA. According to Jallen, his little sister is open to hearing his advice. “I’ll tell her how to do homework, how not to do homework… give her the rundown on teachers,” Jallen said.

Senior Ellen McCarthy said she wants to give her sister, sophomore Moira McCarthy advice too, although Moira never needs it: “She has learned some things just from me going through everything first, but she’s pretty independent and smart,” McCarthy said. “Sometimes I wish I had someone before me so I could learn from their mistakes.”

Senior Thomas Toghramadjian said he thinks having an older sibling at SPA is an asset to his little siblings. “It helped me to be following in Hagop [Toghramadjian, ‘13]’s footsteps, and I think hopefully I’ve helped Raffi out, too,” he said.

The support provided by having an older sibling encouraged Toghramadjian to try things he otherwise wouldn’t have. “Basically, being in the ‘Toghramadjian Dynasty’ is like having a lot of good expectations… I was not constitutionally inclined to do debate, Upper School Council, or anything that involved public speaking – I painfully shy. But the fact that Hagop did it made me feel both an obligation to do them and a desire to do them, he gave me confidence that I could,” he said. It can be tough to be the older sibling, but Hooley said he is glad to be the oldest. “I’m kind of in charge, and I like that they make my house more fun,” Hooley said.

McCarthy has fun being at school with Moira. “There really isn’t a bad part; I love seeing her at school… and I love making her laugh. She literally has the best laugh,” McCarthy said.

Often, McCarthy hears about “Moira Moments” from her friends and teachers. “She tends to do things that stand out, so I hear about them,” she said.

Toghramadjian often talks about his siblings with teachers. “I think because it’s so obvious that we try to follow each other, they try to intentionally avoid comparing us. They want us all to be independent, but at the same time they definitely ask us about [each other]…we’ll talk a lot about Raffi’s debate progress. They’ll ask about Hagop, too, in college.”

Hooley enjoys spending time with his siblings. “My little brother and I play basketball and baseball and we like the same sports. And then my other little brothe — we’re closer in age, so we hang out a lot,” he said.

The McCarthy sisters both run ross country and track, and while Moira McCarthy is unable to Nordic ski with her sister, she manages the team. But the real way that they bond is over food. “We like to make pasta together. That’s a big one. Or smoothies!” McCarthy said.

According to Toghramadjian, his siblings do a lot together. “We all played on the same baseball teams, read the same books, debated together. We’ve played duets…done a lot of music ensembles casually, we do a lot of church activities together… Then there’s the Academic World Quest team…student council, too,” Toghramadjian said.

Some older siblings drive their little siblings to school every day. According to Hooley, the hardest thing about it is listening to his sibling’s crazy music on the way to school. For Jallen, it’s not so bad. “I drive my younger sister to school every morning but she’s pretty quiet: sometimes she sleeps, so not much goes on there,” Jallen said.

More than driving or fighting or looking after their little siblings, the biggest burden of the older sibling is the inevitable moment when they leave the nest and their siblings behind. While sibling dynamics are complex, it can be difficult to say goodbye.

“I’m going to miss her next year [at college],” McCarthy said. “We’re probably the closest we’ve been since we were really little and didn’t have school, so I’m especially going to miss her now,” she said.

Younger Siblings utilize support & guidance from older siblings

by Catherine Braman

From earlier bedtimes to hand-me-down clothes, it is not easy being a younger sibling. There are several sets of siblings who make the trek to the Randolph Campus together each day. Some of the younger siblings share their perspectives about going to the same school as their older brothers and sisters.

“A lot of my friends complain about how their brothers are mean to them. I feel fortunate to have a brother who is so kind,” freshman Ashley Jallen said, referring to her older brother, junior Justin Jallen. She considers him a friend, a driver, and an important part of her support system,“He is always there to answer any questions that I have, whether it is about school, academics, or socially. He is always pretty helpful,” Jallen said.Attending a school with an older sibling already there “made me more comfortable,” she said.

The McCarthy sisters, sophomore Moira, and senior Ellen, have similar interests and enjoy doing activities together. “I like having [my sister] here [at SPA] because it is fun to see her in the halls,” sophomore Moira McCarthy said.The sisters share a love for running. “We run cross country together. It is fun to talk about the team together and have that camaraderie of not only being on the same team but being in the same family,” she added.

According to McCarthy, one drawback to being in the same school is when teachers assume that she learns just like her sister. “I am more organized that her….teachers have occasionally made reference to Ellen but not specific details about her,”  McCarthy said.

Freshman Michael Hooley appreciates having an older brother at SPA. Hooley’s older brother is junior Charlie Hooley. “[Charlie] has given me some advice to take ninth grade seriously,” Hooley said. In Hooley’s opinion, “going to school is better if you have an older sibling. Social and academic advice from my older sibling makes it easier,” he said. He also thinks that having an older sibling helped him develop a good reputation in the middle school because his brother was a good student and stayed out of trouble. However, unlike the McCarthy sisters, the Hooley brothers’ extra-curricular interests are different. “I like mountain biking and skiing. [My brother] plays a bunch of school sports that I don’t,” Michael Hooley said.

Regardless of differences, older siblings provide their younger siblings with someone to look up to.  “Having an older sibling at SPA has definitely helped me a lot.  I have learned from his [Thomas Toghramadjian’s] experiences,” sophomore Raffi Toghramadjian said.Toghramadjian added that Thomas’s connections and advice “made me more comfortable around older students…[also] I can ask for help because Tommy has experience with the same problems.”

He noted that  one disadvantage is when he is stranded at school later than he would like to be due to his brother’s after school activity or meeting.  “I usually do homework or sit and talk with my friends in that spare time. Because my parents drive us and they only want to make one trip back home [to Blaine], they pick us up at the same time,” Toghramadjian said. With both brothers participating in the debate program, “we talk about ideas together. Each of us will take a side on an issue and then we argue against each other,” Toghramadjian said.

Most of the time, older siblings have taken the same classes their younger siblings have and gone through experiences that are similar to those of their younger siblings. Support from an older sibling can help the younger sibling navigate the halls and classrooms.“Always listen to your sibling’s advice because even though it may not seem like it, they are usually right and [the advice is] usually really helpful,” Jallen said.